Family matters: When loved ones disappoint

We all have our own mountains to climb.

No one can possibly live up to all the expectations that absolutely everyone they love has for them. Life just doesn't work that way, does it? We all have our own idea of what our life should be like. It's inevitable that somewhere along the way, those ideals will clash with someone we care deeply for.

Sometimes it's a gut wrenching clash. Sometimes it hurts so deeply that we're left without words. We fear for their future. We see that there is no happy ending in sight if they continue along the path they've laid out for themselves.

Still, all we can do is observe and hope. Because even when our life experience has taught us that some of our loved ones are swiftly heading in a direction that has no happy ending, it's not our place or our responsibility to show them the way. It's theirs to find. And even if it was and if we did, our efforts would not teach them what achieving long term life experience of their own can and will.

Doing nothing is a difficult but necessary task. Saying nothing takes even more strength. So much so, that we may succumb to the temptation of speaking out in anger. Some of us may also carry the burden of watching our loved ones impact the lives of others for the worse with their actions. And yet, love and loyalty necessitates that we keep publicly silent, so as not to taint their reputations by revealing their mistakes.

Do they embarrass us from time to time? Absolutely. Do we wish things were different for them? Yes. But ultimately, it's their life to live. We can't live it for them. All we can do is set a good example, pick up the fallen pieces, mend the broken hearts and take on the necessary burdens that they've dropped for the sake of those impacted by their inexperienced decisions. Above all, we must remember that we're not saints ourselves, having lived through many mistakes in judgment of our own.

We don't deserve any medals for bravery or accolades for doing the right thing. And they, being human, should still have our love and respect. Hopefully, there will come a time when they see the light and understand that their choices are not just about fulfilling their own goals. They impact everyone around them.

Sometimes we unfortunately have to drop them like a hot rock. Because we know that only experience and struggle beget knowledge and strength. But of course, we try to do it as gently as possible, because we love them dearly and we remember what it was like for us in the past, before we earned our stripes, that is.

Yes, haven't we all been there at one time or another?

Folks, life is rough. The mountains we must climb and the sacrifices we must make for the good of others are many. It's easy to lose our way. It's tempting to ignore our responsibilities to others and follow the more direct path to our own, more immediate, personal happiness. It's human nature to seek pleasure. But if we can hold out... If we can summon the strength to make those sacrifices, it's more rewarding in the end.

So, what do we do when loved ones disappoint us? Well, we try to remember that we have or will be on the other side of the coin at least once or twice in our lifetime. We live our lives the best we know how in order to set an example. And we wait. Because ultimately, we must love and trust them to do the right thing on their own. And isn't that the best way anyway?