The ins and outs of Grandma's house

This little girl is moving back in and I couldn't be happier.

I suppose some folks wonder why my kids and grand-kids come and go from the house constantly. I don't. I'm proud of having a place where they feel safe, loved and sheltered from the storms of life. And while I would definitely like to see the adults get on their feet, find their independence, etc., I can also see what they're faced with. The world is rough right now and their income scale makes it rougher.

But, even though our home is a haven for some of them, I realize:

There is such a thing as tough love and it works.

I insist that they do not hand me their issues.

I know it's better for them to take their own falls.

In fact, even though it may not seem so, with everyone moving in and out all the time, those three things are reflected in my relationship with my kids and grand-kids. You see, I'm a big fan of gradual change. It works for me. It works for them. Most of all, it shows them that I'm not an ogre, but a kind, caring person who loves them. I believe in gently lighting the path toward independence, not suddenly shoving them out of the nest with no warning.

They all know that they're expected to earn their keep by paying rent (the adults, that is) and contributing to the household chores (they all do). But you know, that's not the most important thing to me in life. The most important thing is to see all my loved ones living happily, fulfilling their dreams and becoming the best people they can, according to their own skills, needs, wants and dreams.

In about 4 days, I'll be welcoming my (next to the littlest) grand-daughter back into my home. My grandson is welcome too, but he enjoys living the RV life and is looking forward to attending a new school.

Anyway, the whole household is excited right now to see our weary travelers and also to have one of them move back in. We're moving things around so my granddaughter has a private space. We're cleaning. We're painting. We're thrift storing it. All to make her new space as nice as possible. In short, we're just happy as all get out about her homecoming.

Maybe some people think I'm off my rocker for allowing my kids and grand-kids to back and forth it as much as they do. Maybe some folks think that I should be less understanding and more “tough love.” That's their issue and not ours.

In this family we do insist that everyone share the load. However, we are always about love, understanding and spending happy days together. Because otherwise, what's the point? I love my family. They're my world. And I'm OK with helping them through their struggles as long as they don't take advantage of me.

I'm also pretty sure that they'll return the favor when I'm old and helpless.

But guess what? It doesn't matter if they do. Because I feel better about myself by being kind, helpful and considerate anyway. I don't need them to repay me. Their happiness is my reward.

Yup, there's a lot of ins and outs and Grandma's house. And they're all good!