Are you teaching your kid to be a bully?

Oh, boy. I'm going to get it for this one, aren't I? Still, it has to be said. There are many ways for kids to learn bullying habits. One is from their parents. I'm not saying all parents influence their kids this way. Still, some are obviously guilty. Are you teaching your kid to be a bully? Here's why this grandma believes you could be, without even realizing it.

Society is naturally exclusive.

Did I say that? Oh, ya. How many times have you been frustrating by cliques in your kids' school, at your job or wherever else people congregate? Where does this come from? I believe it dates back to caveman days. Gathering in packs was much more efficient than going it alone. The same is true for modern times. We need each other to survive.. Unfortunately, it's survival of the fittest. It's only natural that some people get left out.

What to do about it:

Let your kid see you including, not excluding. Just because it's natural, doesn't mean you have to go along.

You could be a bully and not even know it.

How many times have your kids heard you exclude someone from your circle? True, it may be because they are the bullies. Or, at least you think they are. In actuality, anytime you leave someone out, you are deeming them unacceptable, rather than trying to understand them. That's being a bully, right?

What to do about it:

Granted, there may be times when violent or dangerous actions warrant exclusion. You have to take it case by case. On the other hand, if you're excluding someone without trying to get a grasp on their issues, you're every bit as much a bully as they are. So, make an effort to get along with everyone, as long as there is no threat to you or your kids' safety.

Do you point out siblings' bad habits to your kids?

I know. I know. One would hope this wasn't the case. There's nothing worse than encouraging your kids to bully each other. Unfortunately, I've seen it happen over and over. Families tend to pick at each others' faults. Sometimes it's all in good fun, right? Wrong.
Picking at your kids' weaknesses or shaming them in the name of discipline is a bullying tactic, even when it gets you a laugh. Make no mistake about it.

What to do:

Lift your kids up. Make it a rule to concentrate on their good qualities. Avoid those little jabs. They may be funny on sitcoms, but this is real life. Teaching your kids to pick on and bully each other is no joke.

Some parents bully their kids in the name of discipline.

Some parents' ideas of old fashioned values include discipline that borders on abuse. They pass it on because that's what they were taught as kids. It's OK to be in charge of the situation. Your kids need your guidance. They don't, however, need to see your superior attitude rear it's ugly head. That's not parenting. That's bullying. If upon close examination, you're treating your kids as your inferiors, you're teaching them bullying habits.

What to do:

Enforce the rules of the house with love, compassion and caring, not anger and resentment. You are there to see that your kids learn to treat others as equals. You are no better than they are, just because you hold the keys to the front door. Want kids to respect others? Showing them how begins at home. Don't raise a bully by example. You're better than that.