Bedtime battles - Calming the sensitive child

It's way past bedtime. Your highly sensitive child is throwing a fit for the third night in a row. Your neighbors are pounding on the walls. Likely, if the situation doesn't resolve itself, you'll soon hear a knock at the door. What do you do? I feel your pain. I was a sensitive child, and a parent of a sensitive child. Now, I'm the grandparent of another sensitive child. Been there, done that, many times over. What's my best advice for calming a sensitive, overtired kid?

Discipline can wait.

If you're dealing with a truly sensitive individual, now is not the time to exert your authority. Doing so right away may just escalate the issue. You may think your child is overreacting. You may be right. On the other hand, every kid is different. Every child reacts differently to stress. Take a deep breath, compose yourself and get the situation under control before doling out consequences.

Create a quiet atmosphere.

Some sensitive kids are overwhelmed by even the smallest disturbances. They can go into sensory overload, especially when they're already upset. That makes it hard for them to settle down at bedtime. If siblings are involved, create a degree of separation. Keep them out of the input. Play some soft music or read a calming story. Keep the lights low and the noise down.

Exude confidence and control.

Your voice of reason creates a sense of security. Highly sensitive kids need reassurance. They need a peaceful, consistent bedtime routine. They need a parent or guardian they can count on to keep them safe. Speak in calming tones. If anything, it will force them to quiet themselves in order to hear you. No matter what they do or say, be a shelter from their emotional storm.

Don't force a resolution.

Let the child naturally travel to their "sleepy place."The calmer you are, the more quickly it will happen. It may take a lot of restraint on your part. Still, it will work, I promise you. Plus, the neighbors are less likely to call authorities if the child is the only one acting up. As hard as it may be to control your own emotions, you must be the patient adult in this situation.

Lighten the mood.

Once the child begins to calm down, try telling a funny story or making a silly joke. It's the best way to get things back to normal in my experience. Then, give things a little more time. Share a cup of hot cocoa, read another calming story or do something else relaxing. Before you know it, your sensitive child will be drifting off to sleep with a smile on their face. Tomorrow, you can dole out the discipline, when things are on an even keel.