Overwhelmed, but grateful

My list of responsibilities here at Grandma's house is long. Very, very long. I'm a little more than the chief cook and bottle washer. I'm the Mom figure when Mom's not around. I'm everyone's ride to everywhere. I'm the home school teacher. I'm the check up on-er. I'm the permission slip signer. I'm the, well shoot, I'm the almost everything to these grand-kids most days. 

Now, I don't want you getting the wrong idea. Naturally, my daughter, her current spouse and her ex (These 4 kid's Dad) do alleviate the burden as much as they possibly can.

And yes, sometimes it really gets on my nerves that all this has fallen on my shoulders because my daughter, her current spouse and my ex-son-in-law have all fallen on hard times. And yes, I do “let them have it” from time to time. I'm human after all. I don't really appreciate taking on other people's responsibilities when I'm already sick with Lupus and overwhelmed as it is. They know that this is a temporary situation and that I expect them to step back up to the plate as soon as possible.

I'm no pushover, don't worry. The grand-kids know they're expected to help Grandma when she needs it and they're actually quite good about it. They know what I face every day. They hear me moaning and groaning and running to the restroom all night. They see me struggling to climb the stairs, etc. They're good kids. But still, there are a lot of them. And that means a lot of work, even when they do their part.

But, and you knew there was a but, didn't you? I love and cherish every minute of it. I love these kids more than life itself. And I'm grateful that at least I can be here for them. I'm glad that Gary and I are in the position we're in so that we can at least give them shelter from the storm. And folks, we are not wealthy. Not at all. I would say we are on the very bottom rung of middle class and gripping it tightly so as not to slide off. LOL.

I'm so glad we had the foresight to choose this bigger than we needed fixer upper for exactly the purpose it's serving now. We knew that my daughter hasn't always had the ability to provide a roof for her kids/my grand-kids. And we wanted to make sure that they all always had a stable place to call home, no matter how humble their personal space may be.

And yes, I would like to see these kid's parents trying just a bit harder to provide for them. I would like to see them successful for their own sake as well. But they don't ignore these kids. They do what they can under the circumstances they're in. Absolutely.

But you know, a lot of people don't get what I'm doing here. A lot of people feel that I should be concentrating on my own personal needs, wants and development as an individual. So I thought maybe I would say this, just to clear that up.

I'm trying to be a good, kind, decent individual. That is what makes me happy. That is what makes me fulfilled. Helping is what I do and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that being my life goal.

So, I am overwhelmed, but I am also grateful to have the means and the strength of character to do it. I'm proud of that. I'm glad of that. I'm happy for that. Don't feel sorry for me. Life is good here at Grandma's house. It is what it's supposed to be. People helping people and grateful for each other's company, love and laughter.

Gosh, I love these kids!