Overwhelmed, but grateful

My list of responsibilities here at Grandma's house is long. Very, very long. I'm a little more than the chief cook and bottle washer. I'm the Mom figure when Mom's not around. I'm everyone's ride to everywhere. I'm the home school teacher. I'm the check up on-er. I'm the permission slip signer. I'm the, well shoot, I'm the almost everything to these grand-kids most days. 

Now, I don't want you getting the wrong idea. Naturally, my daughter, her current spouse and her ex (These 4 kid's Dad) do alleviate the burden as much as they possibly can.

And yes, sometimes it really gets on my nerves that all this has fallen on my shoulders because my daughter, her current spouse and my ex-son-in-law have all fallen on hard times. And yes, I do “let them have it” from time to time. I'm human after all. I don't really appreciate taking on other people's responsibilities when I'm already sick with Lupus and overwhelmed as it is. They know that this is a temporary situation and that I expect them to step back up to the plate as soon as possible.

I'm no pushover, don't worry. The grand-kids know they're expected to help Grandma when she needs it and they're actually quite good about it. They know what I face every day. They hear me moaning and groaning and running to the restroom all night. They see me struggling to climb the stairs, etc. They're good kids. But still, there are a lot of them. And that means a lot of work, even when they do their part.

But, and you knew there was a but, didn't you? I love and cherish every minute of it. I love these kids more than life itself. And I'm grateful that at least I can be here for them. I'm glad that Gary and I are in the position we're in so that we can at least give them shelter from the storm. And folks, we are not wealthy. Not at all. I would say we are on the very bottom rung of middle class and gripping it tightly so as not to slide off. LOL.

I'm so glad we had the foresight to choose this bigger than we needed fixer upper for exactly the purpose it's serving now. We knew that my daughter hasn't always had the ability to provide a roof for her kids/my grand-kids. And we wanted to make sure that they all always had a stable place to call home, no matter how humble their personal space may be.

And yes, I would like to see these kid's parents trying just a bit harder to provide for them. I would like to see them successful for their own sake as well. But they don't ignore these kids. They do what they can under the circumstances they're in. Absolutely.

But you know, a lot of people don't get what I'm doing here. A lot of people feel that I should be concentrating on my own personal needs, wants and development as an individual. So I thought maybe I would say this, just to clear that up.

I'm trying to be a good, kind, decent individual. That is what makes me happy. That is what makes me fulfilled. Helping is what I do and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that being my life goal.

So, I am overwhelmed, but I am also grateful to have the means and the strength of character to do it. I'm proud of that. I'm glad of that. I'm happy for that. Don't feel sorry for me. Life is good here at Grandma's house. It is what it's supposed to be. People helping people and grateful for each other's company, love and laughter.

Gosh, I love these kids!

Mixing subjects and more up in home-school

Just a happy, jumbled pile. A small part of today's "work."

Nearly every day of teaching home-school seems to bring a revelation. Yesterday, while doing research, I came across a great suggestion. Homeschooling doesn't have to mimic “regular” school. In fact, it shouldn't. The whole point is, after all, to get outside that blasted, 4 wall, regimented box. Because, for some people, “regular” school just isn't an effective learning method.

Now, if you follow my blog, you know that my last post was about adding fun to homeschooling and suiting individual needs. Yesterday, I figured something else out too. It's not necessary to have math class, then science class, then, language arts class, etc. In fact, mixing it up is actually more effective and less draining on both the teacher and the student.

It also inspires the student to get ready faster and more enthusiastically if they know something fun is happening first thing!

You see, although the lessons, assignments, experiments, related games and activities are all categorized on my lesson plans, that's not how I taught them yesterday. Nope. Instead, I shared my plans with Aja and let her choose what to do next.

The result was a beautiful mix that kept us from being bogged down in one subject. We did a little of each subject at a time, switching subjects randomly until all the work was done. Surprisingly, Aja didn't just choose all the easy stuff first. She instinctively alternated it with the tough stuff so that all the difficult assignments didn't have to be faced at the end of the day.

And of course, we also mixed in that fun I talked about last time. For instance, after our elephant writing prompt assignment (it was to write about trunks from the elephants point of view) we watched a few fun videos of baby elephants using their trunks for the first time.

Anyway.... Point is, this is OUR school. I don't have to be a Charlie Brown-like, wah, wah, wah kind of instructor, if you get my drift. Our school can be anything we want it to be, as long as the required material for each grade level is learned by the student.

When I first started this endeavor, I was determined to help Aja “be all that she can be” and I still am. I'm just learning that there's more than one way to do that. 

A personal note:

Folks, I went to Catholic grade school. I did learn and learn well. They made sure of that. I was also taught to be humble and make sacrifices for the greater good, etc. That's all fine and good except that it really wasn't good for me psychologically. 

Sometimes the lessons I learned in Catholic grade school came from fear and humiliation. Since I was already struggling with social anxiety, confidence issues, high sensitivity and what I now know was high functioning autism, that was a real problem. Having the subject matter pounded into me by force, well, it just made me withdraw further.

I don't want that kind of education for Aja. I want her to learn well because she wants to, because she's excited about it, because she's interested in it. I want her to learn with joy, passion and love. Not because she believes that if she doesn't live by the accepted standard, she'll go to hell. But because learning and doing the right thing makes her happy. 

Learning should be a joyful exploration, not an orchestrated brain washing session. So, from now on, we'll be mixing it up, making it fun and presenting learning options. Thanks, fellow homeschooling Mom for reminding me that this is OUR school and that the whole point is to learn and teach OUR way.

Home-school adjustments – Oh, she's HSP, like me!

 

AHA!

The first few days of teaching home-school were a bit puzzling at first. Aja would be stubborn and cranky every morning as I launched into those required lessons full force. Then, almost like a switch had turned on, she'd be peaceful and happy in the afternoon, as we worked on the subjects that were more fun and relaxing. Now, of course, all students prefer fun activities, but her aversion to structure was especially strong, as were her emotional reactions to small struggles.

It only took me a few days of this to realize that she's HSP, a highly sensitive person, just like me. No wonder she shuts down when faced with highly structured activities. So naturally, I did some research and found some more effective methods for teaching highly sensitive children or HSC's as they are called.

I have to back up off her a bit, for one thing. Giving her some learning choices, chilling on the tight schedule and such should help. She'll still be learning the same things, just in a different way.

Oh, I know. It may sound terribly neglectful. It's actually just the opposite, though. Neglecting her would be teaching her the same way that everyone else is taught. Because she's not everyone else, she's herself. And she's very obviously an HSC.

Now, folks, I'm not going to give you the whole spiel on HSC's and HSP's. Feel free to look it up if you're curious. That's not the point of this post. The point is that every child is different. They all learn differently too.

What in the world do conventional teachers do with a classroom of kids who all learn differently? Teaching one individual child is enough of a challenge for me.

I'm so very glad I was able to figure out Aja's differences before we both shut down from an overdose of regimentation.

As is, we had a nice talk and we are both looking forward to a new, exciting, less structured, less demanding schedule that allows us both to learn/teach more effectively. Because I'm HSP too, you know? I wouldn't have lasted long with an unbending curriculum anyway.

Tomorrow is going to be an awesome school day filled with fun learning games, exercises, experiments, projects and assignments designed just for HSC's like Aja. We're both incredibly excited to scratch the old curriculum. I'm betting that the new plan suits us both and brings about better results and attitudes. It's inevitable.

And all because the HSP in me recognizes, respects and acknowledges the HSC in Aja.

Isn't it great what can be accomplished with a little understanding and empathy?

Are you teaching your kid to be a bully?

Oh, boy. I'm going to get it for this one, aren't I? Still, it has to be said. There are many ways for kids to learn bullying habits. One is from their parents. I'm not saying all parents influence their kids this way. Still, some are obviously guilty. Are you teaching your kid to be a bully? Here's why this grandma believes you could be, without even realizing it.

Society is naturally exclusive.

Did I say that? Oh, ya. How many times have you been frustrating by cliques in your kids' school, at your job or wherever else people congregate? Where does this come from? I believe it dates back to caveman days. Gathering in packs was much more efficient than going it alone. The same is true for modern times. We need each other to survive.. Unfortunately, it's survival of the fittest. It's only natural that some people get left out.

What to do about it:

Let your kid see you including, not excluding. Just because it's natural, doesn't mean you have to go along.

You could be a bully and not even know it.

How many times have your kids heard you exclude someone from your circle? True, it may be because they are the bullies. Or, at least you think they are. In actuality, anytime you leave someone out, you are deeming them unacceptable, rather than trying to understand them. That's being a bully, right?

What to do about it:

Granted, there may be times when violent or dangerous actions warrant exclusion. You have to take it case by case. On the other hand, if you're excluding someone without trying to get a grasp on their issues, you're every bit as much a bully as they are. So, make an effort to get along with everyone, as long as there is no threat to you or your kids' safety.

Do you point out siblings' bad habits to your kids?

I know. I know. One would hope this wasn't the case. There's nothing worse than encouraging your kids to bully each other. Unfortunately, I've seen it happen over and over. Families tend to pick at each others' faults. Sometimes it's all in good fun, right? Wrong.
Picking at your kids' weaknesses or shaming them in the name of discipline is a bullying tactic, even when it gets you a laugh. Make no mistake about it.

What to do:

Lift your kids up. Make it a rule to concentrate on their good qualities. Avoid those little jabs. They may be funny on sitcoms, but this is real life. Teaching your kids to pick on and bully each other is no joke.

Some parents bully their kids in the name of discipline.

Some parents' ideas of old fashioned values include discipline that borders on abuse. They pass it on because that's what they were taught as kids. It's OK to be in charge of the situation. Your kids need your guidance. They don't, however, need to see your superior attitude rear it's ugly head. That's not parenting. That's bullying. If upon close examination, you're treating your kids as your inferiors, you're teaching them bullying habits.

What to do:

Enforce the rules of the house with love, compassion and caring, not anger and resentment. You are there to see that your kids learn to treat others as equals. You are no better than they are, just because you hold the keys to the front door. Want kids to respect others? Showing them how begins at home. Don't raise a bully by example. You're better than that.

Aja's homeschooling is going so well!

I'm already seeing the benefits of homeschooling over crowded classrooms like the one in the picture.

Yes, I know. Yesterday was just the first day. LOL But you know, I just have a great feeling about this based on our experience. It really was an enjoyable day for the most part. Oh, sure. There was a bit of first day, back to school complaining and some frustration. But as Aja and I began adjusting to working together, things started improving quite quickly.

Aja and I are already pretty close. After all, she did live with us before, for nearly a year, while her Mom was in Massachusetts. Still, I feel like we're going to become even closer while bonding over schoolwork, projects, field trips and such.

Now mind you, I've never felt that homeschooling was as evil as some people think. However, I've always mistakenly believed that kids are better off in conventional school. Even after one day, though, I'm actually seeing great benefits to homeschooling. There really is something to be said for that one on one attention.

*Kids can't slip through the cracks as easily if they're the only student.

*The teacher really sees the student's strengths and weaknesses, up close and personal.

*Students, teachers and parents get instant feedback.

*Teaching takes less time with just one or a few students.

*Zero peer pressure.

And guys, forget about the myth that home-school children are lazy or don't work as hard as kids in regular school. The curriculum is exactly the same, but better, due to the completely individualized attention.

In fact, just after one day, I'm beginning to learn which areas I need to concentrate on, which I need to back off on due to the fact that they are already well ingrained and which I need to gradually work up to. Those last, of course are the skills that aren't quite where they should be yet. Can't imagine having that much insight on the first day with a room full of 30 or more students to assess.

Forget that whole, no socialization thing too. Kids have their siblings, friends in their neighborhood, kids in their extended family and there are many occasions upon which they can bond with other homeschooled kids. At state testing, for instance. (Yes, homeschoolers are required to take the very same tests other children take.) Plus, there are home school proms, home school athletic, art and other programs galore that they can attend.

As for the teachers themselves lacking a degree, well, honestly, anything K-12 that someone with a degree can teach, I can learn online and pass down to Aja. We may even study together at times, which is beneficial to both of us and just another wonderful bonding experience.

Plus, in homeschool, the teacher is not as restricted. Kids can study things they have interest in that aren't a part of the state curriculum in addition to their regular work. Because they have that time mentioned in the above list. And thanks, once again to that one on one relationship, the teacher becomes very familiar with the child's individual character too.

So, yes, homeschooling is going very well. Aja loves it. I love it. And more importantly, she is getting the best, most individualized education possible, with all due respect to the hard working teachers in conventional schools, of course.

Who is in your child rearing village?

Nah! Like it or not, it really does take a village, folks!

While I agree that there are many bad parents out there who neglect their duties, I don't agree with the above meme 100% Rather, I believe that children are made up of a combination of "good" and "bad" parenting and environmental factors. And yes, parental skill is a big part of who we become as adults. However, denying that any other influences shape us is a huge mistake.

Think about this. If school and peer pressure make no difference, why then do we try our utmost to see that our children attend good schools with caring staff and have friends who impact them positively? Why not simply allow them to go to any old school or hang out with gang members, criminals and other seedy characters if they feel like it?

Why do we insist on the rules of our country reflecting our values? Why do we have movie and music ratings if it's not to insure that our kids' entertainment is suitable for someone whose brain is still susceptible to subliminal suggestion? Why not live in a society without laws or guidelines at all, if our behavior and ultimate fate is not shaped by them in some way?

It's a fact that other people and other conditions do and will influence our children. That has to be factored into our parenting or we're not doing our job properly. Plus, it's pretty conceited of us to believe that we are the only guiding force in our kids' lives that matters, isn't it? I mean, really folks, there are a lot of excellent parents out there whose kids have taken the wrong path due to circumstances beyond their control. It happens to the best of us.

And yes, there are some people out there who just haven't a clue of how to be a parent. Some of them care and some of them don't. But rather than being so critical, why not simply step up and become part of their parenting village? We all need a little support and a break from time to time, don't we? Why not make a contribution rather than being so quick to pass judgment?

And while we're at it, it would serve us well to remember that our kids and grand-kids have a village too and it's our job to monitor the influence of that village. Because like it or not, those “outside” influences do shape our children just as much as we do. We are not all powerful gods and goddesses of parenting. And no matter how vigilant we are, our children have minds of their own, don't they?

So there you go. Do be a good parent. The best you can be. The best you know how to be. Take a class if you need to. Ask for help. Absolutely. But don't deny the fact that environment plays a huge role in the formation of your children. 

Instead, work to shape that role into something positive. There's nothing wrong with being upset at the negative influences your child encounters. But there's something very wrong about denying those influences matter and believing we are the one and only thing that does.

And do make an effort to help those parents who are struggling, rather than simply passing judgment. You're not perfect either. No one is.

It really does take a village. And who or what is in yours makes a difference. Whether you think it does or not.

Homeschooling Grandma goes shopping

My grand-daughter and I have been having an absolute ball for a couple days, bargain hunting for homeschooling books and supplies.

You see, for those of you who don't know, my home-schooled, 6^th grade, grand-daughter is moving in with me. Since my daughter will be living some distance away, at least temporarily, that means I get to be a home school teacher for a bit. How cool is that?

We've been to bookstores, thrift stores, department stores and even the dollar store. Oh ya. Why not? You can find some amazing educational supplies there to fill in the blanks left by your start up curriculum, no matter how awesome it is.

Now, of course, my daughter provided the basic, state compliant curriculum book and workbook in all subjects. And using that, Aja and I literally went to town buying complementary materials to round it out.

Plus, of course, she needed art supplies and a few basic physical activities for “gym” class. Now, we're not done by any means. Throughout the school year, we'll be purchasing items/activities to complement each lesson.

Here's our “score” so far:

Basic 6^th grade Curriculum book/workbook (purchased by my daughter)

All needed basic school supplies notebooks/pens/pencils/glue/paper,art supplies, etc.

Set of ten hardcover encyclopedia style current science study books with a study guide.

6 Concept Science books on various subjects (birds, animals, etc.)

5 Nancy Drew books for reading “practice.” They have many more so we'll be back!

Giant U.S. wall map

Small reversible U.S./World map for binder

Reading comprehension book w/follow up questions and writing tips

Pack of 38 earth science worksheets related to line of study

2 packs of 38 math worksheets related to line of study

US Geography card game

“Walk in the Woods” Nature/Earth Science game

2 sets of animal facts flash cards (for our aspiring veterinarian)

6 craft kits for art class

6 educational posters

Cheap outdoor toys, like a hula hoop, for gym class.

2 brain building games

2 subject related projects.

We also bought a few little decorative items for Aja's new space, which she informed me was, “nice, but kind of plain and boring.”

Total spent on this amazing pile of supplies, books, tools, posters and worksheets? About 50.00. Yup.

I think the hardcover books alone were worth about 150.00. We paid 7.50 for them, you guys!

We have also done online research and found plenty of free educational videos/lectures in line with her curriculum. Including....sigh....that blasted common core math. LOL Because it is included on the required state testing for all students. I will survive it, you guys! I will!

We'll be learning the ukulele together for music class. I got a beautiful one for Christmas and found another small, working souvenir one at the thrift store. Don't expect any videos until we've gotten it down, though. LOL

And of course, we'll be using all the resources we already have, like Playing cards, Scrabble and other board games that painlessly reinforce basic concepts.

There will be study related field trips. Like to the IMAX for nature movies and the Planetarium for star gazing. Oh, and so much more fun learning, I can't even list it!

Can you tell I'm excited?

School starts tomorrow for her, as she just got back from summer vacation a few days ago. I have 4 days of curriculum planned and this weekend, I'll be writing up a plan for the rest of the month that includes all the materials we purchased together.

You guys, I am no shopaholic by any stretch of the imagination. But this past couple days, I really had a good time shopping. I also found it quite fun planning out the lessons and activities. Perhaps I missed my calling. Or not. Because I am certainly loving what I'm doing, degree or no degree.

This is going to be a blast!

The ins and outs of Grandma's house

This little girl is moving back in and I couldn't be happier.

I suppose some folks wonder why my kids and grand-kids come and go from the house constantly. I don't. I'm proud of having a place where they feel safe, loved and sheltered from the storms of life. And while I would definitely like to see the adults get on their feet, find their independence, etc., I can also see what they're faced with. The world is rough right now and their income scale makes it rougher.

But, even though our home is a haven for some of them, I realize:

There is such a thing as tough love and it works.

I insist that they do not hand me their issues.

I know it's better for them to take their own falls.

In fact, even though it may not seem so, with everyone moving in and out all the time, those three things are reflected in my relationship with my kids and grand-kids. You see, I'm a big fan of gradual change. It works for me. It works for them. Most of all, it shows them that I'm not an ogre, but a kind, caring person who loves them. I believe in gently lighting the path toward independence, not suddenly shoving them out of the nest with no warning.

They all know that they're expected to earn their keep by paying rent (the adults, that is) and contributing to the household chores (they all do). But you know, that's not the most important thing to me in life. The most important thing is to see all my loved ones living happily, fulfilling their dreams and becoming the best people they can, according to their own skills, needs, wants and dreams.

In about 4 days, I'll be welcoming my (next to the littlest) grand-daughter back into my home. My grandson is welcome too, but he enjoys living the RV life and is looking forward to attending a new school.

Anyway, the whole household is excited right now to see our weary travelers and also to have one of them move back in. We're moving things around so my granddaughter has a private space. We're cleaning. We're painting. We're thrift storing it. All to make her new space as nice as possible. In short, we're just happy as all get out about her homecoming.

Maybe some people think I'm off my rocker for allowing my kids and grand-kids to back and forth it as much as they do. Maybe some folks think that I should be less understanding and more “tough love.” That's their issue and not ours.

In this family we do insist that everyone share the load. However, we are always about love, understanding and spending happy days together. Because otherwise, what's the point? I love my family. They're my world. And I'm OK with helping them through their struggles as long as they don't take advantage of me.

I'm also pretty sure that they'll return the favor when I'm old and helpless.

But guess what? It doesn't matter if they do. Because I feel better about myself by being kind, helpful and considerate anyway. I don't need them to repay me. Their happiness is my reward.

Yup, there's a lot of ins and outs and Grandma's house. And they're all good!

Bedtime battles - Calming the sensitive child

It's way past bedtime. Your highly sensitive child is throwing a fit for the third night in a row. Your neighbors are pounding on the walls. Likely, if the situation doesn't resolve itself, you'll soon hear a knock at the door. What do you do? I feel your pain. I was a sensitive child, and a parent of a sensitive child. Now, I'm the grandparent of another sensitive child. Been there, done that, many times over. What's my best advice for calming a sensitive, overtired kid?

Discipline can wait.

If you're dealing with a truly sensitive individual, now is not the time to exert your authority. Doing so right away may just escalate the issue. You may think your child is overreacting. You may be right. On the other hand, every kid is different. Every child reacts differently to stress. Take a deep breath, compose yourself and get the situation under control before doling out consequences.

Create a quiet atmosphere.

Some sensitive kids are overwhelmed by even the smallest disturbances. They can go into sensory overload, especially when they're already upset. That makes it hard for them to settle down at bedtime. If siblings are involved, create a degree of separation. Keep them out of the input. Play some soft music or read a calming story. Keep the lights low and the noise down.

Exude confidence and control.

Your voice of reason creates a sense of security. Highly sensitive kids need reassurance. They need a peaceful, consistent bedtime routine. They need a parent or guardian they can count on to keep them safe. Speak in calming tones. If anything, it will force them to quiet themselves in order to hear you. No matter what they do or say, be a shelter from their emotional storm.

Don't force a resolution.

Let the child naturally travel to their "sleepy place."The calmer you are, the more quickly it will happen. It may take a lot of restraint on your part. Still, it will work, I promise you. Plus, the neighbors are less likely to call authorities if the child is the only one acting up. As hard as it may be to control your own emotions, you must be the patient adult in this situation.

Lighten the mood.

Once the child begins to calm down, try telling a funny story or making a silly joke. It's the best way to get things back to normal in my experience. Then, give things a little more time. Share a cup of hot cocoa, read another calming story or do something else relaxing. Before you know it, your sensitive child will be drifting off to sleep with a smile on their face. Tomorrow, you can dole out the discipline, when things are on an even keel.

Just enjoying being a Grandma

Flowers? For me?

You know, I always wanted to just be a Grandma. And now I am. I'm reminded of that silly little quip about having fun with the grand-kids and sending them home when they cry or when things get ugly. I can just have fun with my grand-kids now. I truly can. And let me tell you, it's great!

Now, I'm not blaming anyone, you know? But ever since my first grandchild was born, I have been much more than a Grandmother. I've always been a second parent to my grand-kids and I've also been a parent to my kids way longer than I needed to be. And as I said, it's partially my fault, because I let it happen.

But lately, I've been putting my foot down, sometimes on myself and just letting them all test their wings. I have been stubbornly refusing to be a mother, not even a second mother to my younger grand-kids and letting the older grand-kids and my kids deal with their own issues.

Does that sound mean? I assure you, it's not. Trusting them is empowering for them. And in the case that they need moral support or something reasonable, of course, I will still be there for them. I'm just done feeling obligated to pick them up from every fall.

And of course, I still give out advice. But if they choose not to follow it or even if they prove me wrong, it's no big deal. It's their life to live. I can't live it for them. All I can do is love them and enjoy my role as Grandma. Isn't that great?

I get to be a Grandma now and I'm absolutely loving it. Should have dropped that ball long ago.

One day at a time reclamation

Our basement wasn't quite as bad as the one in the picture, but it was a close second.

I love all my family members. But … And I know that there should be no buts when it comes to family. Still, sometimes there just isn't enough room for multiple families in your house, not to mention all their possessions. So, now that some of my family members have moved out to explore a new way of life, I'm in reclamation mode. Big time. I've also got a lot of my own stuff to weed through.

The big clean up is first, of course. So many things were left behind for the trash men that I feel sorry for them. And I will be feeling sorry for them for weeks, because that's how long it's going to take to dispose of all the non-recyclable and non free-cyclable items left behind by the 5 family members that moved out. (There's a limit on how much they'll take each week and we can't afford a huge haul or dumpster.)

It's going to take a lot of work to renovate our former storage area. We were planning on doing it just as the fab 5 moved in. It really was no place for anyone to live as far as I'm concerned but we couldn't let them go to a shelter. And it was clean and dry at least. But it needs to be painted. Some of the walls will need to be redone. The cement floor needs finishing. We have to do the annual basement spider spray. And why not do it all while it's empty?

I would really like for Gary to have that space as a work-shop/man cave/art space or whatever. We have been in this house for 6 ½ years. He bought it. It's in his name. And yet, because my family members were in need, he's never really had a single space he can claim as his own. Heck, we don't even go in the basement except to do laundry.

And speaking of laundry, once the storage room is finished, the laundry room is next on the list. We want to turn it into a combination laundry and overstock pantry. You know, kind of old time like. We want shelves and cabinets for storage, maybe a dry rack, a built in ironing center and of course, a place to put cleaning supplies and the like. And naturally, before we do all that, we'll have to paint and finish that room too.

Now, we're not rich. All of this will have to be done a very little at a time and on a strict budget. Some items will be reclaimed for sure. And day by day, upstairs reclamation will be happening at the same time. Because this was a fixer upper even before we all moved in. And lots of people have moved in and out with us since then. There will be some painting. We have to finish our bathroom remodel, and small stuff like removing a table leaf, sorting through things, etc.

It was a bit rough psychologically, having so many people here too. We love each other, but that was just too many people for one small 60's brick house! So we'll be clearing our minds, along with our home.

And you know, I have no regrets. I love them. They needed shelter. We gave them shelter. But I have to say, it certainly is quiet around here. And somewhat less messy as well. Of course, I miss them greatly. But I'm happy they've found a way of life that works for them. I'm happy that they won't have to depend on anyone but themselves now.

And the one day at a time reclamation of our house is what we're going to focus on now. Making my home nice gives me a great deal of satisfaction. So, I'll just be throwing myself into that for a while. It'll keep my mind off missing them. Sort of....