How to praise kids the right way

Does your child deserve a round of applause?

Praising kids for doing the right thing builds self esteem. Kids just feel better about themselves when other people approve of their actions, don't they? You don't need me to tell you that. Still, there's a right and a wrong way for parents to do everything. Praising your kids is no exception. That's where this Grandma's well tested advice comes in handy. Here are my pointers for praising kids the right way. I hope they work as well for you as they have for me.

Give only sincere praise.

Kids are pretty good at sorting out sincerity. They know a line when they hear one. They'll catch you pretty quick if you're not being honest or not really listening. Not only that, if your praise is insincere, they'll get the wrong message about what makes you happy. Sincere praise lets kids know what truly pleases you and others as well as what qualities are valuable in the real world.

Be attentive!

Kids know when you're too preoccupied with your own life to give them your full attention. So stop what you're doing. Look them in the eye. Pay attention to their stories. Give them your whole self. All this makes them feel as if they are more important to you than anything else you're busy with. It also makes them feel more valuable as people. Caring shows!

Be specific.

Let kids know exactly what behavior or skill you are praising and encouraging. Why? Because it further enforces the idea that you really mean it. It shows you've given their actions your undivided attention. In other words, you care enough to put some thought into your praise. For instance, say that your child brings you a drawing they've done. Here are some typical parental responses to that situation

*That's pretty. (Nice, but not specific enough.)*Put it on the fridge with the others. (Makes the drawing sound like one of many.)

Hint - Ask yourself this:

*How could you show that you are truly paying attention?
*Do your words highlight the specific skill you are praising?

Try something like this instead:

*I like the way you're learning to stay within the lines when you color. And that butterfly is the perfect shade of blue. It makes me feel so peaceful and happy. It's like I'm right there in the field of flowers with that beautiful butterfly circling over my head!

Don't forget their friends.

It takes more than parents to raise a child. Your kids' social circle shapes them just as much as you do. Not every child has a positive role model in their lives. Even if they do, it doesn't hurt to have more than one kind. So, when your kids' friends are over, make them feel good about themselves too. Don't just praise your child and leave their friends hanging. That's just not right. Plus, praising your kids' friends makes them better friends to your kids!