Five reasons you shouldn't even try to be a perfect parent

Perfection is insane!

Don't you get tired of those goody two shoes Moms with their custom mini-vans? They have been blessed with 2 angelic kids. "We have a boy for him and a girl for me. We planned it that way." How about those five star catered play dates? Geez, I was lucky if I could get my youngest to keep her diaper on. If I was a perfect parent, I would never have made so many mistakes. You wouldn't be getting all this free parenting advice. You don't need to be a perfect parent and here's why.

1. You're not perfect and neither is your child.

If you were perfect, you'd be an alien because there are no perfect humans. So, why try to be something you're not? It's exhausting. Besides, everyone knows an impostor when they see one, even your kid. He's only two years old. You don't want him following your lead and growing up to seek an impossible dream, do you?

2. Perfect people are annoying.

Now that's an understatement. "Oh, sweetie, you know Mommy doesn't like it when you do that. Use your words. There now, isn't that better? Oh, aren't you Mommy's little sweet helper? Thank the nice man for the candy. Let's go home now, you need a nappy and Mommy has to make dinner for Daddy." Bleccchh! I'd rather have someone scrape out my eye sockets than listen to that. Poor kid!

3. It's too much pressure on the rest of us.

All these perfect parenting articles, blogs and newsletters are making me look bad. Yes, I give great parenting advice. I'll be the first to admit that's because I made nearly every mistake in the book. Still, I'll never learn enough lessons to achieve perfection. It's an unattainable goal and a waste of time. Besides, who are you trying to impress? It's certainly not your toddler. He's happy splashing in a mud puddle all day. Wait, that's not mud. What is that? Oh Noooo....!!!!

4. Your child deserves better.

Do you really want to do this to that sweet innocent child of yours? You know, the one who never says no, learned to walk at nine months and spoke five languages by the age of two? Wouldn't he be happier just being a normal kid? Oh, that's right, this isn't about your child, it's about you. Everything's about you because you have to be perfect all the time. So your kid has to seem perfect too, right?

5. Kicking back is good for you and your kid.

Relax. Allow yourself a little breathing time. Stop pushing yourself and your child so hard. Give your toddler a bucket of finger paint. Let him step in it and walk all over your newly finished wood floor. It's washable! Take him out to eat. Laugh while he flings spaghetti across the restaurant. "It stuck to the wall, does that mean it's done?" That's the beauty of being a kid. It's the one time in your life when nobody expects you to be perfect. Why ruin it? Plus, those mistakes are how we learn. Whether we're a parent or a child, we need them!