Watch out, Grandma's gone bonkers!

Steer clear of Grandma, it's one of those days!

Normally, I'm a mild mannered, peaceful individual. I putter around the house, picking up messes, doing laundry, dishes and all the stuff that keeps things running. I break up fights, smooth things over, help everyone with their various struggles and I'm just generally a happy person, full of love and generosity.

Normally.

But then, there are those days when it all comes to a head. On those days, it's best to steer clear and pitch in. Because if there's anything I can't stand it's people who refuse to reciprocate and/or take care of their own shit or help with all the shit in general. Pardon my language.

I know. Kindness is supposed to be it's own reward, right? But lately, by doing so much, I pretty much set myself up for others to do very little.

Still, it doesn't make things any easier to know that. And when your helper gene has been active for over 50 years, it's pretty tough to shut it down or to understand people who haven't been endowed with it.

So, lately I've been feeling the burn. And not in a good way. I'm learning that no matter how nice I try to be, even niceness can turn ugly. It's not always a case of projecting good energy and having everything be hunky dory. Sometimes you have to put your foot down. Sometimes you have to be lazy when it comes to other people's messes.

Because otherwise, they leave them for me on a regular basis. Then, nice Grandma becomes mean and nasty Grandma in a quick hurry. Hey, I'm supposed to busy baking vegan cookies and spreading the love anyway. Who has time to pick up after 8 other people? Not me.

So from now on, I'm going to try like hell to resist the urge to straighten every mess that I come across, even if it's mine. After all, it won't hurt them to wait on me for a change either, will it?

Now, I realize that my little experiment may backfire. I may end up on an episode of Hoarders. But hey, it's better than losing my voice by raging at loved ones every few weeks, right? That is, if I can conquer my life long helper habit.

Meh, we''ll see....

Just talk to the people, baby!

Today, I'm thinking fondly back on an older gentleman nicknamed Big Al, who taught me to manage multiple dry cleaning outlets. I came to him in frustration one day because some of the other employees weren't pulling their weight. His response was, “Just talk to the people, baby.” Now granted, Al was somewhat condescending. I didn't really appreciate the whole baby thing. But Al was basically a decent human being and his peaceful, simple solution really came through here at Grandma's house today.

So, what happened was.... We woke up to no heat this morning. You see, our furnace is chock full of kitty hair and miscellaneous dirt and dust. That's partially due to having all these people and pets here. Not only that, but we've spent a whole lot of money lately due to the impact of having a whole lot more people in the house than it's designed to support.

Now sometimes these issues lead to a lot of yelling. But this time around, we didn't blow our stacks. Instead, Gary cleaned the furnace out as best he could. He got it going. Then, just as Al suggested, we talked to the people. We explained the issue with patience and understanding. We didn't place blame. We merely asked for help.

And guess what? Al was right. If you just talk to people respectfully, it works a whole lot better than losing your temper and tearing your hair out in frustration. Who knew? Well, I did. I just wasn't acting on that knowledge. A lot of people don't. Because some things just build up until the dam breaks. Especially when you've been dealing with the same tired issues for a long time.

So, here's to keeping the peace by being respectful to each other. I highly recommend it. Thanks Big Al. Gone but not forgotten and still teaching me after all these years.